Sunday, 8 December 2013

finding my sparkle

Another post today, inspired by Fat Mum Slim's list of 50 things to blog about.  This is supposed to be on something I lost.

This can't be the right time of year to lose
one's sparkle
Well recently I feel like I've lost my sparkle.  

I'm finding it hard to break out of the normal routine.  Rather than looking forward to things, I'm thinking of things that might go wrong, and I'm just finding it really hard to get up and going.  Generally I'm feeling a bit 'meh'.

So what's up?

I might be a bit depressed.  The last time I can remember really feeling like myself was when I was pregnant with my youngest, before she got REALLY big.  I felt strong and capable, and resilient.  I had useful things to do and a good circle of friends.  I lived in sunny Suffolk (which by the way is a marvellous place to visit, if you can cope with the trek to get there).  Since then our family has moved twice, and that's really stressful.  We have also moved to the frozen north, where the weather is a lot worse than it was in Suffolk, so that's going to bring you down, right?

I've really noticed in the last couple of years that I notice the dark nights drawing in more.  I feel the cold more.  I don't know if that's part of how I'm feeling generally, or maybe some seasonal affective disorder (SAD).  But why would I have that now, when it's not affected me before?

I don't feel like I'm unreasonably sad, and I have been before.  I don't want to take anything for it, although medicines can be the right thing to do sometimes.  I just want to get my sparkle back.

So how do I do that?  

I am doing useful things - I'm looking after my children, and I'm also writing.  Maybe I need to get a win on the writing front to feel it's allowed, or maybe I should just keep on with the book I'm writing.

I've made friends in seaside town, but I don't have such a strong 'gang' as I did in sunny Suffolk.  Partly that's just how people do things in the different towns, but I should maybe push myself to get a bit more sociable.

I know exercise will make me feel happier, but it's bleeping freezing out there, and building exercise into my day hasn't been working.

So, over to you.  Have you seen my sparkle?  Any ideas for getting it back?  How have you maintained your sparkle?  

You'll find my other posts inspired by Fat Mum Slim's 50 things to blog about here.  Other posts you might like include: