Monday, 6 January 2014

friends

They say your friends are the family you choose, and that true friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand.  I think it's true that in life we find a few, a very few, people with whom we form a friendship that endures to become more like a familial bond.

Personally, I can only think of three people who have come into my life and stayed and stayed.  Like sisters, we might annoy each other from time to time, but we get over it.  We keep in touch, vaguely, most of the time through Facebook.  And when we get together, we continue our conversation from where we left off.  All three of these women were women I made friends with while I was a teenager.  In those hormone-filled, difficult years we go through so much with our friends, that it is no wonder strong bonds are formed.

Pic of me with some of my seaside town friends
Pic by Jane (sorry for pinching it)
As an adult I have moved a lot.  I've met a lot of people along the way, and have the friends on Facebook to show for it.  I am really glad I am not going through the emotional tribulations of adolescence to allow me to build strong friendships, although I think that some of the friendships I have gathered along the way are almost familial - we support each other from afar, and we pick up the conversation where we left off, although we haven't started annoying each other yet (at least, they haven't started annoying me!).  
Making friends takes time, and presence.  I've already made a few in seaside town, but not as many as my children, who spend more time with their schoolmates than I with my friends.  It's good to communicate with friends far away, while building up the relationships nearby.  Of course, you only make friends with the people you meet, so you've got to put yourself out there a bit, which can be very hard.  Most of my friends now have children the same age as mine, although I'm meeting people through writing too.

For me, I don't feel happy living somewhere until I have a friend I feel I could go 'round to at 8.30pm with a bottle of wine and a grumpy disposition.  I have that friend now in seaside town (although I'm very unlikely to actually drop by!), so I guess I'm settled.

I've noticed that people who stay in one place, or even move, alongside a friend, can have very sisterly/brotherly relationships with their friends who they see all the time.  I'm a bit jealous of that to be honest, but maybe I'm just not the type.

What about you?  How did you meet your friends?  Do you have any who feel like family?  Do you have someone you could rock up with a bottle of wine to?  
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