Wednesday, 8 January 2014

wearing tights that don't fit

I've been working my way through Fat Mum Slim's list of 50 things to blog about.  But I've been stuck on one:

Bad habits. Share yours and why you won’t give it up. Ever.

It's not that I don't have bad habits.  I do.  I just don't want to tell you about them, thanks!

However, my youngest does have a bad habit at the moment.  She is forever pulling her pants and trousers down to show her bum.  This is sometimes just done thoughtlessly, but the other day, when I was shopping, she did it in front of the checkout, bottom in the air, waving about while she sang "shake your bum bum, shake your bum bum."

Thank you for that.

I've become a little sensitive to flashes of bum from my youngest of late, and so I snapped at her the other day when I saw her trousers start travelling south.

"Oh it's not her fault," said a kindly woman who was nearby, "she's got no hips to hold the trousers up with yet."

Justin Bieber, making me feel glad to be old.
Pull your trousers up!
This is true enough, and it must be awfully tempting to mess about with your trousers when they're constantly falling down anyway.  I must admit, I am glad she goes the whole hog and doesn't end up looking like Justin Bieber, with her pants hanging out.  Shaking your bum bum is surely preferable to that.

Anyway, I'm talking about my bad habits, not my daughters, so here's mine.  It is vaguely related.  Honest.

I wear tights that don't fit.

I don't set out to buy tights that don't fit.  I look at the information on the back and go for ones that fit my height and my width...

But I'm not sure if they're designed to fit both at the same time.

Sometimes I'm forced to give up and take them back to the shop, because they just don't reach my bum, but if I can wriggle them up over my bum, then I'll tend to keep them, even if I spend my entire day hoiking them up.  Why?  Because I reckon I'll make a hole in them soon enough anyway.

I've never found perfect tights.  M&S used to be perfect, but they don't do those ones any more.  Morrisons 300 denier ones are pretty good, but I always seem to end up wearing the ones I have to jump up and down to pull up.  I thought that tights must be like this for everyone, but I don't notice anyone else hoiking, and I seem to do it all the time.  My husband finds my hoiking very funny, especially when I jump up and down.

It's not big, and it's not clever, but hoiking my tights is a habit, and I don't imagine I'll ever stop doing it.

Here's Michael McIntyre talking about the ridiculousness of putting on tights.

I surely cannot be the only person spending my days hoiking my tights up?  Do you do it too?  And if not, how?

If for some reason tights are not your nemesis, what is it about your clothing that causes you the most grief?

You'll find my other posts inspired by Fat Mum Slim's list here.  Other posts you might like include: