My children are getting bigger and bigger, and my youngest is at nursery now in the mornings, but this school year she has dropped her nap!
During the morning, while she's at nursery, I do housework, shopping, meal preparation, and a little bit of writing, when possible. But it's only a little bit, and now I'm onto the second draft of my book, I'm finding I really need to submerge myself in it, and I can't.
It used to be that I could do a little bit more in the afternoon, while she slept. But she doesn't sleep anymore (except when I pick the big kids up from school, for half an hour sometimes), and I CAN'T GET ANYTHING DONE!
It's getting to me.
I'm feeling like I'm a bad writer because I can't concentrate, and I'm feeling like a bad Mum, because she is a cranky pants in the afternoon, and she won't go to many clubs, so I end up having to engage with boring games with her, and I want to have fun with her, but nobody is fun when they're tired.
So, instead of feeling frustrated at all the writing I'm not doing, I've been telling myself that I've only got the rest of this academic year with the little girl at home. I should stop stressing about what I'm not getting done, and enjoy the time we have.
But then it was November, and I was thinking of the 25,000 words I got written of the book in November last year, when I took part in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), and now I'm feeling bad again.
Truth be told, editing is necessary. First drafts are rubbish, and editing is how you make it gorgeous. However, creativity flows much better when editing isn't on your mind, so I've decided to post once a day during November. I shan't be editing the blog posts.
They may not be good. They may not be long. They may not be coherent. But they will be there.
I was repeatedly told as a kid that I am rubbish at drawing. It is probably true. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it. I'm hoping that pushing myself to accept mistakes, and messiness, will help me feel creative, and help get me through this frustrating hump.
Care to join me? The rules are thus:
- You post once a day
- You do not edit
- You can post musings, fiction, poetry, non-fiction, whatever.
- You can also post photos or art work. Whatever.
- If you're joining in, please put a link to your blog in the comments.