Monday, 3 November 2014

missing home

Thanks to my lovely sister, for
this picture of her, my
brother, and me.
I was bimbling along fine, and then it hit me. I miss home. 

I think it was a combination of things. 

I had a birthday, and celebrated it with my in-laws.

My Mum had a birthday, and we couldn't travel down for the night to celebrate it with her (it's about 5 hours each way), but I saw my sibling's pictures on Facebook, and it looked fab. Happy birthday Mum.

I went out with friends to a fashion show. It was fun, and I really like my new friends, but they're new friends, and we were surrounded by women who were hanging out with their sisters, and their friends that they went to school with. They had that easy, teasing, camaraderie.

That's what I miss.

Here nobody knows me as anything but my children's Mum, and that's a fine thing to be, but I wish that we had more that we had shared. Sometimes, if I've had a couple of drinks I start rabbiting on about my past, and it's really because I want to let them in, but of course, they weren't there, and my telling them is just stories.

It would be nice if I had fallen in love with a local boy and settled down, but then I wouldn't have lived in the places I've lived and met the people I've met. I'm glad I've done what I've done.

But I don't feel like I've engaged with Largs yet. I feel I'm paddling in the shallows. 

And today I'm sad.

But it will get better. And that starts with coffee with a friend this afternoon.

I'd best get ready.